How I Got Over My Fivehead Or Letting Go of Insecurities

If you know me, you may recall I have bright hazel eyes, a soothing reading voice, or an inability to hide my emotions.  In addition to all of the other characteristics I possess, you may have also noticed that I have an enormous forehead.  So large, in fact, that growing up, especially as I got older, I referred to it as a "fivehead," because I can legitimately fit ALL FIVE of my own fingers on the skin between eyebrow and hairline at once.  Check out the photo documentation below:

This may sound like a funny, quirky trick as a confident young adult, but as a teen (and pre-teen), I felt exceedingly self-conscious about the size of my forehead.  It just wasn't "normal"! It also wasn't "fair"!  I spent years hiding (or attempting to) behind bangs, swoop bangs, and hats--anything to distract from my oddly constructed face.

I remember, about ninth grade--my hardest year to date--feeling particularly desperate about my looks and body.  I knew there wasn't anything really wrong with me--I was happy, healthy, did well in school, had friends and social outlets, and had a loving family.  Despite all of these positives, like so many early teenage American women, I had terrible self-esteem (when it came to my high forehead).

I wasn't particularly into fashion, though I occasionally read magazines like Seventeen.  Somehow, however, I heard Tyra Banks would publish a book, Tyra's Beauty Inside & Out, that year (1998). I asked for the book, and I can't remember whether it was a birthday gift or just a book that my mom got me, but it really helped.

Image Source: Amazon

I read the entire thing.  I read the beautiful and inspiring stories, along with some of the more tedious fashion/ make up tips.  I'm not necessarily willing to say this book changed my life, but it certainly started to help me think about my body, looks, and life differently.  It helped me to recognize (finally!) that we all have our own stuff to deal with and that as long as we deal with it, we have a chance of progressing.  Tyra, also very noticeably afflicted with a case of "fivehead," inspired me to embrace my own beauty, despite my unfortunate forehead.

Image Source: Wikipedia

It was a slow process letting go of that specific insecurity, but I can tell you--I have.  I no longer worry about what people might think about my forehead or what looks to be a receding hairline.  I have embraced the beauty of this "imperfection."  To do this, identifying what you feel about yourself is a great place to start.

Allow yourself to consider all of the insecurities you walk around with daily:

do you worry you're...
- not smart
- not pretty
- not tough
- not cool
- not fun
- not spontaneous
- not a dedicated/ good parent/ friend/ sibling/ child/ worker/ coworker
- no longer young
- no longer beautiful
- no longer strong
- unlucky
- unhappy
- not skinny
- not in a good relationship
- relationshipless
- too poor
- too busy
- too tired

Take a look at these and determine whether your worries (either ones on this list or others you've pinpointed) are:

1. something out of your control


2. something within your control

If the worry in question is out of your control, let it go.  Embrace your reality.  I am turning 30 in two weeks, whether I like it or not, so I might as well make this my best year yet.  Worrying or being embarrassed about it isn't going to make my life better, in fact, it is decidedly going to make it worse.

If the anxiety is within your control, do something about it.  If you worry you're not skinny, start moving each and every day!  Check here for ways to slowly incorporate exercise into your day and here for healthy eating habits to put into practice.  If you worry you're not a good friend, pick up the phone!  Everyday gestures go a long way.  If you have the power to change your circumstances, make moves.  If you do (have the power), but you're too afraid, put them back in the other column and deal with them as they are... but without complaining, because it doesn't help.

As women, as men, and as humans, we need to embrace our flaws.  We need to come to grips with the realities of our lives.  We are not perfect, nor will we ever be, but we can become comfortable with our imperfection.  (In relation to exercise, but somewhat applicable, Jillian Michaels says, "Get comfortable with being uncomfortable."  That is just like this.  You may not have picked your flaws, nor would you wish them on anyone else, but they make you you.)  It is a {beautiful} part of what makes us unique/ interesting/ great.  

Can you embrace your flaws?  How have you let go of your insecurities?

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